How to get 100,000 players

[This is the original e-mail I sent to Calvin after the the infamous interview just featured in the Daily WTF. John, for one, thought this version of the story much more humorous than the one I eventually submitted to the Daily WTF, so I will preserve it here for posterity.]

Calvin,

I interviewed this afternoon for a programming position with a game development company.

By game development company, I mean a man who has played some video games before.

He is designing a massively multiplayer online game that will have both steam locomotives and sail-driven ships.

By designing, I mean he has some ideas.

Some of them are even written down.

This man claimed to have an idea every day. Can you imagine how it must feel for him to walk among the rest of us?

Oh, actually.

He doesn't. Walk among us, I mean. He never leaves his apartment.

He told me that.

He will charge $15/month, but the income will not stop there. He will also have in-game advertising. For a fee players and businesses can put up banners in the game and even send each other messages.

The game is going to be so popular Google will advertise in it.

I showed him Venture the Void and mentioned that as an example of how long it can take to develop a game.

And how few people might sign up.

He is outsourcing most of the development to the Philippines and India. He found programmers there who said they would work for royalties only.

The game would take three to six months to finish. I would be the go-between. And also work for royalties only.

Not paltry pay. $75,000 a month when they start pouring in. That's 2% of his expected income.

Did you know, you can easily get 100,000 players by posting your game to mmorpg.com?

You might try that.

Please send me 2% of the proceeds if you do.

Because for some reason,

I decided not to take the job.

Kevin